**trigger for talk of sui***

(((((PC Friends))))))

Thanks for the prayers and thoughts and kind words.

I did see T. I was REALLY honest. I'm not even sure if that was a good idea. I know T is a little freaked out, because HE was really honest too.

It was hard.

I just realized that 2 years ago today I overdosed, in a not-sure-if-I-want-to-live-or-die moment and made myself really sick. Almost exactly a year ago, T and I were in rupture land and he kept screwing up (writing the wrong name on my receipt, giving my appt away, etc) and I ended up taking a break for a month.

And now here we are again.

This has been a downward spiral since the end of December, really.

I want so badly to reconnect but I don't know if it's possible.

I'm so sad, really