good news is that i caught the engine seizing before it totally died ...& poured massive fluids into it & then i guess an air bubble got into the cooling system (or something terribly technical like that)..so much for the idiot gas guy who checked the oil & said 'oh it's fine"

so a massively expensive oil change + a little work later the 19.5 year old big ugly van is back & running...still needing brakes & a windshield...but hey it's moving.

2 weeks ago i started to bring up some things with my t that have made me feel so edgy & tense & now full of rage...it's all good & on the way towards healing but but it's stirred up some huge chunks of emotion. not handling it well..plus st pat's is a major trigger for me...the repair has left me with little cash now & i'm just majorly stressed & ugly.

not a happy camper...