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Originally Posted by Perna
It almost sounds like you are trying to solve the which-came-first-chicken-or-egg problem? You are upset because you are being ignored and you are being ignored because you are upset. You do not reach out and try to get to know others but they are supposed to reach out and try to get to know you.
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Well, yeah, that's more or less correct. When I reach out to other people I am nearly categorically met with rejection
unless I am in a very relaxed, confident mood. Nobody likes a weirdo.
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You have to talk to a person first so they know you are interested; no one can read your mind, even if you are looking friendly; looking friendly and smiling is no guarantee that someone will speak to you, it just makes it easier for the other person to do that "work".
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Did you even read my post?
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But you have to do your part of the work first! If you want to talk to someone, you have to go talk to them, you have to speak, you have to say, "Hey, do you come here often?" or, "Hey, I'm here alone tonight can I hang out with you for a bit; do you know anyone else here?" or, just, "Hey, how are you." Something.
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I talk to the bartender (a good idea if you are a girl alone; ...
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Which I am not. It's creepy...
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You have to get the ball rolling yourself.
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Read my post. Smh.
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Yes, people will ignore you if you ignore them.
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**Head spinning around**...
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That you drink and thus chemically relax enough to feel "good" so you are more approachable should be a lesson in what "can" happen when you are approachable.
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Look! Up in the sky! It's captain obvious!!!
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Next time, rather than think yourself ignored and get angry about it, move closer to people, smile sincerely (knowing if you do so, they might say something to you) and prove to yourself that it is possible for you to be approachable without the chemicals.
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Do you understand the nature of social phobia?
Sweety, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be posting out of your own "mental health issue" area where you might invalidate someone with your uninformed "good intentions".
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But don't judge by whether someone talks to you first or not; talk to someone else first and then you'll know if they are interested/not interested in talking to you (which will be about them, not you!).
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Riiiiiighhhhtttt.....so when you talk to 100 people FIRST and 99 of them reject you and act creeped out, then it must be all about them! Gosh, and here I was thinking little ol' me had something to do with it.