Well. I've concluded through reading, asking questions, being very honest with myself (as honest as I can be) and evaluating my whole life that I have psychopath/sociopath traits. I won't say I AM one completely, but I have done things that most people wouldn't even THINK of doing. That being said, I attempt to give, in my own words, a rundown on how one might "roll".

It's a hard conclusion to come to because I don't know what normal is. I don't know how 'normal' people think. But here goes:

Apparently there is a set of rules in place, that society has made. Most people follow them. Others, like myself, don't even see them. The world is my oyster, I can do whatever I want. Start fights, slash tires, break windows, stalk an enemy, steal a sign, paint a wall, drive in the wrong lane, blow a stop sign, eat with my hands, or wear a rubber chicken suit.

I think I purposely don't watch television because that would mean I knew what these rules were perhaps. I really just hate television. It's boring, and stupid and makes me feel dumb even watching it.

Chances are, your close friends know you're a nutcase, but won't tell you. There's a good chance they're afraid of you. Afraid you might blow up, or never talk to them again, or just start throwing **** and go on a rampage. It's much easier to just not say anything. Besides.. they like your psycho. They think it's cool to have the crazy guy as a friend.

You probably grew up hurting animals, being too rough on the playground, and were smarter than all the other kids. You probably also knew you were "different" but didn't really know the extent of it. You were probably a bully, but if you were like me, you liked a challenge. You liked to bully the bullies. This kills two birds with one stone. You look like a good guy, and you still get to **** with people, and possibly get violent.

Later you hook up with a friend or friends and do alot of senseless vandalism. Anything to get a rise out of people, or make an impression. Just knowing that you ruined someones day/week/life gives you immense pleasure. You made your mark on their soul and they will never forget you, even if they've never seen you.

You keep going through life, probably have lots of girlfriends/boyfriends because everyone loves the ruthless asshole that likes to fight and start **** with everyone and anyone that so much as looks at them.

Nobody that isn't close to you knows you're anything but a sweet person. You can turn on the charm at any moment, and even if you were caught beating a guys head in, it's ok.. he was a rapist and tried to steal your girlfriend. You can lie pretty good too, and have lies stored up for certain occasions.

If you're like me (and these are just my experiences, they're all different) you know you're crazy, but it's not like you can do anything about it. There is no off switch and sometimes medication doesn't even help. When you have such fierce anger like mine, medication is like pissing on a forest fire.

You probably LOOK scary. There is something about your eyes that people know you're not innocent or trustworthy completely. However, people try to give you the benefit of the doubt if you act sweet and smile, and you really try hard not to look people in the eye. They eye's can't lie, and you know that.

If you bring your girlfriend flowers, you probably stole them out of someones garden, and might even still have the roots attached. You think that adds charm and wit. When invited for dinner at the girlfriends, you are on your BEST behavior. Talk about your future plans, going to college, make millions, buy a few condo's. You know it's all ********, because you just want to be a tattoo artist but it's not like you're gonna tell them that.

You might be described as being "different". Like you're just a "different" type of person. meaning people don't know how to place you. You're smart, they know that, but don't know exactly what makes you tick, or how you can be so positive all the time and just be the "perfect" person.

You don't like talking about yourself, and in fact will think of a reason to get angry if people press the issue. (red flag!) suppose you're at dinner with the girlfriends parents, they start asking you questions about your early life and you mention a few things (not about the abuse, neglect, beatings, etc). They start pressing for details and you stop eating, gain your composure, and try to think of some good lies.. or you have a mouth full of food, and chew it slowly hoping they will quit badgering you. For some reason, you didn't have a stockpile of lies for this occasion. You really hope your girlfriend butts in, but if she doesn't, you just shrug off most of your details and maintain that your life was pretty normal, no big deal, and you're just a regular kid from the block.

The truth is, you were sexually abused, physically and emotionally abused, neglected, and told you were worthless and a piece of crap, etc. But you, of course, don't mention these things. Not to anybody. your closest friends don't know this stuff. Your family probably doesn't know (unless they were the abusers).

You know certain things are considered "wrong" but either don't care, or believe that those rules were made for "normal" people, and not people like yourself, who is above all people and all humans. Humans are sheep, and you are the big bad wolf. You know how fragile humans are under even the toughest act.

your life is completely empty and void. Without drama to spice it up, it is nothing. but you like it. You like being cold and ruthless. You like dingy hole in the wall places, shady people, and dark basements. You probably have handcuffs under your bed. If you're nice like me, you have fuzzy ones. I used to always have a red light in my room for "romantic occasions". or a blacklight works too.

Probably did lots of drugs, and started early. Had a few friends that were as shady, if not shadier, than yourself. You probably have a friend or two that is 21 and will buy you booze because you seem mature for your age. You are the perfect person, and everyone likes you. People talk about how sweet you are. You do things for people, with the sole purpose of being the star. You want the whole world to like you.. and you prefer they do it without asking any questions about you.

This is getting longer than I had anticipated. Let me know if anyone is interested. I know some people were intrigued by the idea of the sociopath.