I feel stable today. My life is manageable. The bills are paid. The house is clean enough for health and safety concerns. It isn't "hospital" clean, but I am not bothered by this. I haven't had a craving in a long time, cept one for a cig a few days ago. It passed quickly and it wasn't more than a passing thought really. My marriage is good. I"m getting my emotional needs met in a healthier way, these days. I've learned valuable lessons during my clean years. They came with a lot of heartache and boredom though. They certainly were not free.