Quote:
Originally Posted by athena2011
This quote, from your very first post in this thread...kind of shows that you essentially told people to fall in love with you or abandon you (even if it's subconscious, you seem to be giving this message and they seem to be acting on it.)
But you just said people fall in love with you. And that they leave when you won't be 'with' them. So you ARE lovable. But it seems that you are pushing them away, not the other way around.
|
I do not think that "I" am the lovable one. I think it is the construct I seem to generate in trying to be what people want and need. There is
some "me" in there, and I gradually increase it over time, but I seem to be too afraid to just come right out from the very beginning and say, "This is me."
I want them to love me (a lot) and I want to be special to them - that meets my needs. But why can't they just love platonically instead of turning it into a situation where I lose them just because they can't have absolutely everything they want? I think what the message is from them is this: "I can't tolerate your issues if I can't have you."
I'm sure you're right in that some of this is my fault, but I don't know how else to achieve close and loving relationships with people.