Thankyou all for your response and kind words. The chemo thing she will not change her mind and I know this especially since the cancer has spread all over and she just wants to live now while she can. I have some personal regrets now looking back the last 9 years like how I moved away for work and basically lost 9 years of spending time with her. I mean I visited once or twice per year but it's not the same as being there every day.