I think I had more problems when I was younger than I do now. I think now its mostly bipolar issues. Growing up I didnt know much of what love was. It wasnt a part of my family. Well there was my dad and I got to see him sometimes every other weekend. He told me he loved me. It was always very uncomfortable for me. I didnt understand what he meant until I had my own kids and realize now what he was feeling. I know I can remember having to tell my self I should be upset or I should be happy and had to learn to act a lot. I probably would have been a very successful actress. Now I am different though. I think pregnancy changed that. I feel very intence love for my children and their father. I have always been very controlling. I was very strict and sheltered my kids life until 2 years ago when I started going in and out of hospitals and my husband took over parenting. It was good for them. I had them in catholic schools, controlled who I wanted them around depending on what I read out the kids. They couldnt stay the night with other kids, were not aloud to leave the yard even at 10 and 12. Controlled it all, until I lost control of myself. Now I have learned to let go a little and let them live. They are 12 and 14. I think that because of the way I grew up and not knowing that feeling until I had them, I was so scared it could be taken away from me so I held them close at all times. Also sheltering them the way I did they have pretty good heads on their shoulders. I was always brutally honest with them about the sickness in the world, about sex and drugs, about child mollesters. I think I scared them with the last one, but they know to stay safe now. Well I got lost in this but yes love was hard for me when I was younger, not so much now.