I don't know what you have planned for the wedding but it sounds like it might be too much if you are both stressed about it? Can you let others do some? My maid of honor bought the wedding cake as her gift to us, for example; she was in the baking business and knew someone who made cakes so we went together one morning and picked something out of the baker's portfolio and that's all I had to do about that :-) I was fortunate because my stepmother was über-controlling and did not let me do anything, including pick out my dress. She was stressed, I was not