I have an intense desire to contact one of my previous Ts to apologize for abruptly leaving and not returning.

I've seen six Ts in my adult(ish) life (including the one I saw in my late teens) and this is the only T I don't feel that I ended well with. The first T terminated when she moved out of the country, and while I wasn't happy with that, there was closure. I ended gracefully with another T, and could call her any time if I ever needed, even years after the fact. Two other Ts also ended amicably, and I have no "lose ends" so to speak.

Except for this one. I saw her for about a year, twice a week, and was majorly attached. She's the only T that I was ever allowed to email, which helped the attachment grow. Unfortunately, she started behaving unprofessionally, and I got fed up with her. Instead of handling it well and addressing it, I just started cancelling and then never rescheduled. Very unresolved.

I don't know what is up that now, when I'm with an incredible T who I adore and have no issues with (I can talk about anything, and have brought up "uncomfortable" topics before- including discussing my attachment to her and my neediness. But I still feel compelled to reach out to and apologize to that other T....

Anyone ever done this before? Success? More heartache? Anyone have a clue what is going on in my head?!