I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time, ab414.

Have you tried any counseling services at the college that you go to?

Depression causes these miserable symptoms, and there are medications that do help the symptoms ease up a bit. The biggest help for me has always been counseling. Talking about my fears, my loneliness and self-hate, etc.

Sometimes, I need to make other changes to my life to make myself feel a little better. Exercising regularly helps me a lot. Cleaning up trash on the side of the roads. Cleaning up carts strewn about in parking lots. Those are big positives that help me feel a little better. Some people are really great with artwork during their lows & it helps them feel a little better.

Best wishes to you ~ hope that I've given you one or two helpful ideas.