4RH, I sent my T an email last Friday about more of the details of the sexual abuse. Some of it was stuff that I never planned to tell anyone. Ever. Ever. EVER. ****ING EVER. I did not think it was relevant. it didn't matter. Shoot, I spent a goodly part of my life denying that it happened at all. So, I empathize with the courage and/or desperation that it took to actually hand that information over in a written form to anyone.

I wish you had spent more time looking at your T. When I first told my t about certain things, he kept nudging me to be sure that I saw his response and could see his eyes. I also kept thinking he would think I was gross. I still am worrying about that. I actually keep asking, "You don't think I'm gross, right?" He keeps saying he doesn't and reassuring me that no matter how I feel or how I've thought of things up to this point, it wasn't my fault. It wasn't our fault, 4RH. Right? Not your fault, not mine. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I don't either. I wish it felt that way for both of us.