I'm feeling really confused lately. I don't know the depth to which my own mind has ****ed itself. At this point, I'm deciding I'm just going to keep pretending like everything is cool, but it's not like I can really fake happiness. Then I'm back to my old way of mechanical living. Feeling like life is on rails. Maybe I'm depressed, or maybe I'm driving myself nuts.

Not that I need any help with that.

but... ugh. ****. ****. I dunno. i'm feeling another 3 days without sleep coming on shortly. But, I forgot to take medicines today, so hopefully in about 20 minutes everything will calm down again.