Rhapsody, happiness comes from within us. It's a heavy load to lay on someone else to expect them to make us happy. I think you really did hit on the source of your feeling abandoned or neglected. You're projecting the feelings that you dad caused in you, on your husband.

Granted, I believe that your husband should look to you for SOME of his "chilling out". But if he prefers the computer, you might want to create a "fun time" with him in some way. It could be as simple as playing a game of cards with him. I would stay away from any love making since that would only cause him some more stress. He needs to forget about "serious" stuff.

As for "cleaning up" to have lunch with him and his friend; it really doesn't matter what THEY think. What's more important is what YOU think and how YOU will feel if you don't dress or put your makeup on. Do you have enough pride in YOURSELF to clean up? Is it important enough to you? You're complaining of not getting enough attention from your hubby. Are you going to pass up a chance of being with him in adult company? How would you want HIM to act if the roles were reversed?

It's YOUR decision.