Can'texplain has a good point--- sometimes T's ask questions that are probing, they aren't meant as accusations but they sound that way because of our past experiences. If an abusive parent used to say a certain phrase let's just say "what did you do at school today?" , it might have been threatening back then because it meant the parent was just looking for a reason for a beat-down on you. Let's say you are in your 20's, and a T asks you "what did you do at school today"? --and they have no knowledge of what it means to you, it can seem scary, threatening. Someone can say stuff innocently, just to get a better understanding, but it can come across as a threat or judgement.