If any of y'all read my post last week, I was struggling with the decision of whether or not to continue my therapy. In my session Wednesday, I went in planning to continue, but talking about it I was conflicted. My T wouldn't give me any imput, said it was my decision. I eventually decided it couldn't hurt, so I said I guessed I would continue, but since I have trouble expressing what I want in my life, He made me say I WANT THERAPY, confidently. which was hard. He also asked me what I think we should work on so I can get the most out of our time. Proposed we have a "brainstorming" session. Of course, my T thought I should identify what I am having trouble with. And I told the hard truth, everything I've been trying to avoid. I need to deal with my emotions. I am the strong one, push hard things away, only to realize I can't get over them. Had too much pain continually in my life, it was the only way I could cope without falling apart. He pushes my buttons continually, if I say something makes me sad, I am forced to dwell on it before I can dismiss it. And no matter how much I feel like crying in those moments, I can't. I end up sitting there silent, shrugging my shoulders, waiting to move on to the next topic. So I basically committed to more of the same awkwardness, but I need to find a way to allow my emotions to come out so I can work through these issues. I want help but it's so hard to force myself to receive it. Any suggestions?