I have a standing appointment with my T which I cherish. I love the day and the time. Also, my T is wonderful in that she'll always find a slot for me if I request an extra session. I don't want to lose the slot I have now. It is, for me, a sacrosanct time during the week.

Occasionally though I have a passing thought that I'd like to cancel my session - either because I'd like to save some money or that I'm still recuperating from the previous week's session or I'm just in a blank place.

I'm not sure I would ever really cancel because I'm somewhat addicted to my weekly session but the thing that stops me cold from considering it any further is a sense of obligation I feel towards T.

She saves that slot for me. She accommodates me as much as she's able. She's there for me always. So, it feels that if i canceled for no good reason (like I'm sick or out of town) that I'm not valuing our alliance the way I should.

I know my T would not have any problem if I wanted to cancel one session but I don't feel that I should - out of respect for her and/or respect for the therapy process.

Is this twisted thinking?