I was on two leaves, for a year each (maxing it private disability insurance which was in place of state one where I worked). Second time was laid off. Now cannot find a job because in my line of work it is a small world and everyone knows or everyone knows someone who knows. When you are on a leave but still part of the headcount (while on disability), the company cannot hire someone else in your stead, because they do not have extra headcount. So it is a nightmare for your team - the projects you need to be doing are not done or are distributed among others, who are already overworked. No one likes that and people remember. I found one job and worked and thought that I am on my way resurrecting my reputation, but was laid off together with 1/3 of the company (my performance was good). That one year was not enough - I cannot get a job now. Maybe the situation is similar to Anneininside's. Yes?

If I find something now, I will feel that it is a new lease on professional life. But I doubt. In a while I would file to get permanent if I do not see other options. And frankly, I am in two minds about finding a job too - it is not that I would be all excited, I would doubt my abilities and would be very worried about my limitations. For instance, mornings are hard for me, at night I get sleepy, and I need many hours of sleep on my medications. How am I going to work alongside people who do not have these limitations and who are especially driven? What will I do when everyone stays late before a launch? I am afraid that I would destabilize. In that sense, I SHOULD be on permanent disability.