I don't know what I want :P Just think I might be wasting my time by not living at all.
I do have friends, but I don't let them close enough, none of them know of my self harm, for one, and with them I always try to be exactly what they want.

I'm sorry I'm being difficult, I'm really ambivalent and divided on all of this D: I guess I do deep down want a romantic relationship, but I don't even know where to start xD All of my past close relationships have been dysfunctional to say the least.