Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
alwaysnexteded,
Well, I am glad you are recognizing that lieing may be a problem for you. None of us here can really diagnose you though. We CAN support you in your efforts to try to find out why you do this and that should be done with a therapist.
The fact that you do feel guilty about it is a good sign because I think that DrSkipper is right, if it didn't bother you it would be a problem.
I think everyone lies a little to be honest. But some people lie to impress others and it can be a sign of low self esteem. My husband had that habit and often he would tell about something that happened or a fishing trip and he would do this lieing thing that annoyed both me and my daughter. He would always embellish the real stories and lie about the size of the fish and how hard it was to catch etc. Ofcouse he also was an alcoholic too and lied about that which also became a problem for me.
What do you think? Do you think you may have low self esteem and might be using lieing as a method to cover that up? Sometimes that CAN be one of the reasons many people DO lie. And then it can just become a habit.
I think that maybe you should try to be more honest and see if you can overcome this habit slowly. Try to catch yourself and take more control. I think that we all can make improvements in ourselves if we do things that we know are bothering us.
People will respect and trust you more if you are honest you know. There is something more empowering when you tell the truth. But it is good to know why you lie because you will be able to spot it in others. A lot of people DO lie unfortunately and it can become a habit. I don't like it myself and one of my pet peeves is to corner someone and make them tell the truth because I find it very disrespectful when they lie to me and try to spin me.
I am only giving you the could be as I am not a therapist.
Oh Rohag, we were writing at the same time, yes I see your point, it could be a survival technique that slowly became a habit and now that I see more of the history, yes, it could have deep roots.
Open Eyes
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I definitely have a low self esteem which originated in my childhood, and I have yet to over come. My parents had this very crystal clear picture of how I was supposed to be, and I did not fit in that picture. I was and still am overweight, and they liked to point that out. They also told me how I never did any of my chores correctly, but never bothered to show me the correct way to do them. I do always feel like the things I do are going to be scrutinized even when they are not. So when I started talking to my ex I laid the foundation with things she would want in a partner(other than integrity) and presented myself as a person with those things. I did not confess my lies to her until she confronted me. In the beginning I was terrified that she would leave me if I confessed. She tried really hard to work through this with me, but I continued to lie to avoid some imagined punishment. I would really like to tell her I am, and one of the things I am most proud of is admitting I do have an issue with lying, and I want to be truthful not only with her but with everyone. So I am holding on to this thread of hope that she will find it in her heart to let me show her that I am not horrible, just troubled, and that I am working on my troubles. That hope is what keeps me going so I am going to hold on to it as long as possible,