I have to wonder when there is a compliment, specifically about how I look on one day, if looking really nice that day, how bad I look on the other days that that one stood out?

I do appreciate compliments but at the same time I do feel that they can be hard to take, almost not feeling worthy of them. It is a personal self-esteem issue that am learning that if I have gone to the trouble to do something nice for myself worth noting by others, graciously thanking them and also taking a moment to take it in now as I know the spirit they meant.

On the other hand. I try not to get noticed. I still squirm a bit with compliments as I don't always want to be noticed and grapple with that fact; do I dress/make-up/hair/attitude for how I am feeling, which happens to get noticed or do I try to hide for less attention. At trial, how I was dressed before and during my attack/rape was brought up even though I dressed modestly. Even though I know logically it had nothing to do with it, it still clings with me them saying that. So it feels like a catch-22, and compliments indicate being noticed so it is a mixed feeling when they occur.