I know that pushing at my therapist and trying to get her irritated and frustrated was and sometimes still is a BIG issue for me. It's something old and deeply entrenched in me. As a teen, I took great pride in the fact that I could irritate and frustrate the adults around me. It was my way of knowing that I was having an effect on them, forcing them to deal with me. It was negative attention and I loved it! I would go out of my way to provoke that kind of response from the adults in my life.

When I started therapy, I would frequently inquire if my therapist was frustrated or irritated with my responses or lack of change. I WANTED that warped validation that I was making that "familiar" impact upon her. I didn't know how to be anything other than irritating The need is lessening but I always find myself sliding backwards into old behaviors when I'm stressed.