I'm late to the party but much of what you describe could be me, only I haven't made it to the "getting healthy" part.
I wouldn't start dating a guy that is "stalling" until you lose weight. If he cared enough, and was less selfish, he would at least explore the idea with you, maybe by hanging out or excersizing with you!!
I struggle with this so much...when I was slimmer I had male attention, once heavier, it dries up. I feel like "why bother"...love to men is 98% physical 1% emotion and 1% bacon and other random thoughts. Love the male folk but it all seems so pointless. Work on yourself , and don't look. Someone right will come to you!!