For a while I have been going to the swimming pool. I swam imperfect breast stroke with my head above the water, without goggles. In a way I like swimming this way because I see people around me. But the posture is bad and eventually my neck starts hurting. I did it because I was too lazy to adjust my goggles so that they would fit.

Now yesterday I finally overcame the laziness. Wonderful! Proper posture, proper breathing. Faster movement. That, until I got into the deeper end.

The view of the deep end below me caused my mind to conjure up an image of my youngest child, who is now in school, as if she were a toddler. And she falls into the deep waters and I cannot rescue her - the distance is too long.

I could not tolerate looking down. Started swimming with my head above the water - everything is fine. Tried the proper way - same image when I see the dark blue depths. Tried several times; the image is unrelenting. My heart gets filled with terror.

Many years ago I swam in much deeper, Olympic size pools, and I remember enjoying looking down into the depths. Now I think - how could I have tolerated it without fear?

Has anyone experienced such haunting imagery and what was helpful against it? Should I just tough it out and swim looking down hoping that the imagery would go away? I am terrified of doing that, but I do want to swim correctly.

Please help.