Memories from my childhood have always been very spotty. I can remember bits and pieces ~ and have a strong history of repressing, remembering, repressing, remembering, etc. I struggled for a long time to actually believe the memories before I finally accepted my memories to be accurate. It's been a very long road for me.

In my personal experience, I distinctly recall giving boys bj's (I was 5-6 years old), which brings up a lot of self-hate and deep shame. As I got older, "bj" sadly became my nickname. Obviously, not something to be proud of. Point is, it's something that I was taught how to do at a very young age and I thought that was how to get a man to care about me.

Hope that helps you in someway. Best wishes to you!