Estersvirtue, I can really relate to how you are feeling, and what you are experiencing. We need to heal, but the old ways of coping with the pain only cause more pain now. For me, it's frightening to let the old ways go, like I won't be able to tolerate the pain and grief. I really have to find new ways, especially when my self esteem is really low from hurting myself. It's like there's a gap when acting out, or binging are gone. I have to get really creative to show love for myself even when I don't feel like I deserve it. For me, the most important thing is believing that I do deserve love, at least from myself. Today, it was a simple thing, giving myself the time be with a friend and finding reason to laugh out loud.

Thank you for sharing.

Be well,

mtd