I admire the way you worked this through too....lots of good insight and a very clear way of stating it. Maybe I should just make myself a copy of that list to remember if I find myself/my mother touch craving triggered so strongly again.
Yes.....one of the hardest things for me on your list though was the understanding that my craving/need will not be satisfied fully in this lifetime....I think I always really knew that. I know I knew it, but somehow T1 woke up the craving/fantasy from its dormancy, and somehow I hoped against hope.....knowing she couldn't really meet the need, but no one ever came so close EVER to seeming like the one who could! And hugging seemed to work for a while, was healing......but it did seem to end up growing the need instead of lessening it, or it made my emotional need of HER greater....
What I have told myself though, was that even if I didn't feel satisfied fully, I could still be satisfied enough.....loving, holding, hugging, touching my children often is one very healing thing and it is very satisfying. I may not have gotten the mothering needs I had fulfilled, but I can do all that is in me to fulfill the needs of my own children - and I suppose that is also part of the self-soothing/self-loving point, too. After all, when you show yourself more willing to give affection, people tend to think you are safe/approachable to show it to, as well - I used to wall myself off so much that I turned people away, but now that I have learned to gradually open myself up more and reach out more, both with my needs and to others in their need, people turn toward me more, and really do seem to find me lovable, touchable, huggable......
T1 had no issues with my sexuality at all, she was Christian but also very nonjudgmental, openminded, etc (same with T2) - I think her problem was feeling like hugging me was inviting sexual attraction/thoughts on my part toward her. But the main thing was that ol' borderline stuff.....her supervisor saying that the sexuality/sexual fantasies/borderline combo was too dangerous to allow physical contact......I accept there was logic in that. Somehow, I don't feel your T's discomfort was related to any moral judgment about your sexuality....but whether or not it was actually right/helpful/useful to you in your therapy to widen her boundaries to include touch, perhaps.....
T and I talked about other things that could show care/nurturing, etc., besides touch.....like words. Once she did a very special visualization with me.....part of it had to do with being in a special, safe place and there was a being there who knew me completely and loved me.....she said, you are lovable, you are loved.....anyway, I left session that day feeling as though I had been hugged verbally/emotionally without the actual touch and feeling like she had also meant she loved me in a way too, and it was a lovely feeling....(I wish she had kept doing things like that for me)
Anyway, I am glad you seem to have a good, competent T.