i was wondering where the question was before you edited your post

admittedly i am an attachment fiend, so you may disregard! If you don't feel supported by your T, or even trust her (you think she is 'wily'), why do you go? Do you feel better since you've been in therapy? I am generally curious.

For me--the support from my T has been years of consistency. Of her being exactly the same way for all these years. For continuing to tell me she doesn't want to get rid of me. I started a "T caring list" in my journal near the beginning of therapy. Just tiny little things that made me smile when I thought about. I just looked at that list the other night and it has gotten long! So when I start feeling like I am just a paycheck to her, I look at that list.

For example: She has responded to e-mails over the weekend. She has called me on the weekends when I am feeling especially bad. She doesn't have to do those things. The weekends are her time. She has told me that she has felt sad because of the way i was feeling, and it sounded like she meant it.

I guess for me, support is all in the details. YOu can say "I will be here for you," or "You are worth caring for." Whatever it is you need to hear--but none of it matters until you feel in your gut that what they are saying is true. For me it has shown up in years and years of consistency. I mean, it took me until the 4th year (this year) for me to finally start opening up to the things i've been avoiding. FOUR YEARS. I thought I'd be in therapy for a year, max.