((((((((PC)))))))))

Wow, I SO appreciate the caring and support here. So much.

I saw T for 2 hours on Friday, and I am taking a break. I asked him to please just be honest, and told him I would be honest, and we worked hard.

He did tell me some things about why this is hard for him, how he's been trying to process all of it by talking to other T's, how confidentiality makes it impossible to say certain things. He talked about his own issues and fears and how they are coming into all of this mess that we're in. It helped that he was so honest.

I am taking a break. Right now, I'm planning on going back during the first week of April and we'll see where we're at and go from there...I'll decide whether to continue the break, to go back, to leave, whatever.

I realized in the shower this morning that I really feel okay about the break. Therapy has been SO hard since the beginning of the year, and it's been one horrible punch in the gut after another. It's a relief to be able to take a step back.

So, I guess the goal is to not shut down completely. I've been writing a lot and that helps. I guess this is just part of my journey.

T wrote me a note to hang onto, and I took a little thing from his desk that I'll have to return...I wanted something that would "make" me come back, and I'm glad I took it.

I guess that's the update.

I really love and appreciate you guys.