Thanks for the replies everyone. I guess it's a very painful time for me at the moment.

It is hard to put across without disclosing everything going on (which I don't want to do) but T COULD have phoned to check something without necessarily calling to see how I am per sae. In this case, that distinction could exist.

I'm not controlling - friends mean just as much to me whether they call me or I call them. Maybe I am extra sensitive re T though. It didn't help I spoke to my mother yesterday and she couldn't wait to get me off the phone.

I guess I may just be reading too much into this and she came across differently on the phone. Maybe she was busy or in the middle of family time. Who knows. It's just hard.