So, stopdog, you don't think anyone here can answer the question you keep asking here. The truth outs. I have often wondered what would qualify as an answer for you, because post after post gives subjective explanations of how therapy works for each poster in bits and pieces.

These are subjective answers because relationships are subjective experiences that differ depending on who is comprising them. And as has been pointed out and born out in hard research, the one therapeutic element that transcends technique is a strong, trusting relationship between therapist and patient (or client, if you like). This element can be linked to reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression in patients.

But, how it works in each dyad is different because each dyad is different, so each relationship is different. There are commonalities too. It is mushy. It would be lovely if the causality of our change were as transparent as billiard balls (although one could argue causation is fairly opaque there as well), but we are complicated and mushy and so many forces of change are at work within us at any given second that those forces are all but impenetrable.