PS I really do want to say that to her. I could text her. Part of me sort of relishes the idea that getting such a text from me might ruin her weekend in some small way. Only...I don't want to be that person. I don't want to hurt someone just to make myself feel better, even if I think they deserve to feel a portion of the hurt they have caused me.

And in the end, hurting her isn't going to make me hurt less. I have to rise above it. I'm only posting here because I needed to get it out. These moments are more widely spaced now than they were a month or two months or three months ago. I have to believe they will continue to taper off until whole days can go by without me thinking about ex-T. If I didn't believe that I wouldn't be able to keep on living.