Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
PS I really do want to say that to her. I could text her. Part of me sort of relishes the idea that getting such a text from me might ruin her weekend in some small way. Only...I don't want to be that person. I don't want to hurt someone just to make myself feel better, even if I think they deserve to feel a portion of the hurt they have caused me.
And in the end, hurting her isn't going to make me hurt less. I have to rise above it. I'm only posting here because I needed to get it out. These moments are more widely spaced now than they were a month or two months or three months ago. I have to believe they will continue to taper off until whole days can go by without me thinking about ex-T. If I didn't believe that I wouldn't be able to keep on living.
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I seriously think I am fixin to write a snail mail letter certified to my xT no response necessary. Just to be finished with all this. please know you are not alone. A text message isn't long enough if you want to just get it all out there, and xT could block you.
As for value... You are a child of God or whatever you call her .... And that is enough value to build on.
There is that saying about... And I'm paraphrasing i think...o hell I'll look it up...
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“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” Heather Cortez
And I don't care if it's the postman, a house cat or a house plant , something or one relies on you and you start there.
Life is connected by dominoes of incidents and interactions, the rocking of the boat or stepping out of ones comforts zone... Or the dusting off after a tragedy .... I am learning are all a part of this crazy game of life.
You are part of that game. Start small and the dominoes will fall into place.
You will be stronger for this and the strong survive.