I don't know how to say it without it sounding empty and perfunctory, but I really am sorry for your loss. The "closet" is a place in which no one should have to be. A death is tragic in itself, but I imagine it's even more distressing the more of a potential part of yourself you see in the person.

Those week-or-so-long waits in between sessions can be so excruciating.

By no means a new idea, but I journal letters to my T when I really miss her or feel like I need to see her. I never intend to give her the letters. Is there anything you do?