happy 101, my mom was incredible abusive and a total narcissist. Everything is all about what we can/should do for her. She is currently enraged and "hurt" that I am not calling her to check on her all the time. There is a huge list of things she has done even just recently after my father's death that are the reasons I'm not going out of my way to call her, but she cannot see any of them because she cannot do anything wrong, or if she does, it should be okay, because "I'm your mother!"

I feel for you, and just wanted to echo what others are saying here. Sometimes, you just have to dig your heels in and do what's healthy for you.