I talked today about how I spend so much time trying to escape mourning something that happened that its creating problems. I then said its hard to grieve when there is no gravestone to go to.

T said immediately after I said that about how people of jewish faith place stones on gravestones each time they visit and perhaps I could do something with stones?

I think for me this is a solution to my pain of loss, the idea of doing something as simple as pick a special place and lay a stone on it each time I visit there as a way of putting some form of structure to my free falling grief.