Hi puzzclar. Sorry to hear you're feeling so down lately. I've been there too but I hope you know there is a way out of depression, out of the emptiness, suffering, and numbness. I have this mindset: there is a solution to almost any problem, but you just have to find it.

You sound very depressed and what I noticed in my life is that if I didn't take any action the depression just got worse. In the beginning they are baby-steps; you shouldn't burden yourself too much. But for example, a good idea to start feeling better again is signing up for a gym or doing a sport. Doing this 3 times per week for half an hour or an hour can have a big impact on your mood, and your health and outward looks improve too.

Another way to start feeling a little better is by using visualization exercises, and also changing your Self-Talk to something more constructive. When you're alone, imagine how you want to be in the future. In the beginning it's really hard to see you succeed in what you want. Images of failure creep back into your mind. But you have to be persistent and keep doing it. Imagery or visualization exercises change the structure of your brain. When you imagine yourself being funny and having a good time with people, the social parts of your brain begin the work. By doing this you are preparing yourself for little future successes. I'm not talking about major successes in life, like becoming famous or anything. Just little successes that together add up. Little things count.

Combine this Imagery/visualization with goal-setting. Set little reachable realistic goals in the beginning, you feel confident you can achieve. You can do this when doing exercise. Set little goals for yourself, such as doing cardio for 20 minutes with your heart-rate 140 PBM. Reaching these goals feels good. I think doing exercise is a great way to get out of depression, because it learns you all kind of skills you can use for other parts of your life. And besides, you train your willpower with every meter you progress on a home-trainer or cross-trainer. With this willpower you will become more persistent in reaching what you want.

I belief depression is just an overall problem with the Self-Concept. The self-concept is made up of: self-esteem, self-image, self-worth, self-efficacy, your general daily mood, etc. The self-concept can be changed, but it requires effort. If you improve your self-concept, you will start to feel better: your mood will improve. Reading self-help books can help a lot. Just reading them can get your mind closer to the truth and make you feel better and see the world in a different better way. And even better, putting what you learn from self-help books into practice is even better.

No matter how dark life seems, you must have something to hope for. Hope gives life. Without hope there is not much for human existence. You should try to give yourself hope every day, even if it feels difficult or impossible. If you combine giving yourself hope with setting small goals and reaching them, your mood and outlook in life will change for the better. Again, exercise is great for this.

These are just some ideas. The current situation you are in in life is giving you your depressed feelings and mood. So something has to change. For some people, they have a chemical imbalance in their brain, and need medications. But often medications are not enough to overcome depression; it just makes it more manageable. That's where (CBT) therapy, self-help, and exercise can help. They can lift you out of a depression, or at least make it much more manageable and improve your mood. Finding happiness in life is difficult, but I think you know the saying: Seek and Thou shalt find. You have to become a seeker of happiness and peace of mind. You alone or together with other people have the power to change the course of your life and future.

I hope this helps a bit; it helped me during dark periods. You have to keep fighting depression, hoping that one day you will feel happy. It's possible. Take care.