i don't believe that watching porn is good as a teaching device for sexual / love relationships. porn is addictive. and, it seems to be holding you in abeyance rather than helping you grow up and seek out friends and lovers. no one needs porn to live. and, you will do fine if you turn it off and start living in the real world rather than a sexual fantasy one. the real world is a lot more complex and it will take time to learn but it will be worth it because it will give you a life that is a lot less lonely with real, participatory sex!

i disagree that masturbating is a sin. in moderation, it is perfectly normal. i've heard about those studies - a priest told me about them. there may be a little truth but i doubt that you are spoiled goods because of porn and masturbation. after all, my source was a so called sex expert who is celibate. you do the math.

i think some counseling could help you. it appears you are not getting enough attention in this area from your parents - who should be prodding you a little and providing information. you sound very normal but seem to spend too much time alone and that is holding you back. does your school have a counselor?