Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain
I say she is judgemental and punitive, and I'm going to think badly of her for three weeks.
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Okay...that made me laugh out loud.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoaster
You really are doing some great processing and writing! Bravo!!! 
Not to be devil's advocate, but based on what you've written it does appear that your T struggles with boundaries. You do as well (as do I!), BUT I think that Preacherheckler is onto something. How can you learn about good, healthy boundaries from someone who cannot model this for you? You and your T have localized boundaries as one of your core issues. Even if her boundaries might be healthier than yours comparatively, when learning something difficult like this (particularly not when we were supposed to--i.e., growing up from our parents) we need an extra good model for this. Do you feel that your T can model good boundaries for you? |
Well, you and PH are playing devil's advocate, which can be a good thing at times. Since October I have been unhealthily preoccupied with T herself and the relationship with T itself. Her behavior of late has effectively knocked her off the pedestal I unfairly placed her on. This has facilitated me to be more intensely focused on learning myself and my own boundaries. If her boundaries or behavior remains "off-kilter" and/or I don't feel she can help, I will remedy the situation.
That being said, I still believe wholeheartedly that everything happens for a reason. Before checking this thread, I was reading "Boundaries". The chapter I'm on is "The 10 Laws of Boundaries". I was reading about #6 (The Law of Evaluation). Basically it is talking about times you might have to "hurt someone to help them." It gave the example of a guy whose business partner was performing poorly. He didn't want to confront his partner because he was afraid it would hurt him. His T said, "It might hurt in the short term, but if he is unaware of his behavior, it will help him in the long run." The guy was confused, so the T gave this example:
When a dentist drills a cavity, does it hurt when he does it? Yes. Does it ultimately help you once the cavity is filled? Yes. When you eat and drink sugary foods and sodas, does it hurt? No, it feels good. In the long run, does it help you? Of course not...you get a cavity.
T has tried to drill two things into my head recently:
1. She is human and will make mistakes.
2. She always wants what is best for me.
So a part of me wonders if the whole thing is purposeful. Nothing else she has tried in an entire year has worked to get me to do this work. She once said it was as if I wanted healing, but didn't want to do any work or make any changes in my life to facilitate that healing. She is right. Scarily, exactly right.