Practice. I know it sounds painfully simple, but it's true. My group T actually has us practice skills with easy, non-intense situations so that when it all hits the fan, we have some practice under our belt. Also, going a little at a time, rather than trying to change everything at once. And using opposite action, sometimes I just do the opposite of what my destructive/ineffective tendency is- another simple thing I've found very helpful. Like, I wake up and want to stay in bed, skip class and work, and generally avoid the world. It's super easy to do, and I've done it plenty of times before. What I've done is realize that whatever I've been doing has actually been making the situation worse and is just really ineffective for me, so now I do the opposite. It's not always clear cut to determine the opposite, it kinda depends on the urge you have that you want to change. In this case, for me, it's that I know when my alarm goes off, I have a set amount of time to get ready and that I will be out of the house by 9am, no matter what- messy hair and what-have-you. Or, let's say I'm running late to class, even if there's 10 minutes left in class, I'm going. Which hopefully pushes me to get going a little faster to avoid that embarrassing situation. When I apply this, I get out and have a decent day. When I don't I literally stay in bed till 4pm (seriously did this last week). So, which one do I want to do now? Today, I chose to get up and get going, and my day was so much better than when I isolated and holed up in my room.

Do you have some ideas of specifically what you're doing that you'd like to change? And maybe how you could apply some of the practice with non-authoritative people in your life or how you can practice opposite action?

It's tough, but we can do it. I hope I helped.