Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES
I hope you and your therapist are exploring what "I can't" means and what saying "No" means. Saying "No" is a way of saying "I do have a voice". Saying no is a way of saying 'I will think for myself', 'I will do what I want', and on the surface it may sound obstinate and negative, but underneath that there are other things going on.
My therapist has suggested that it's a way of being heard, a way of fending off engulfment.
We have also explored the idea of going along, and have thought together about what that means and what it means to not go along.
We've also explored the fears associated with trying things I want to try, doing things I want to do - the fears that can seem small but can be huge roadblocks to what we want.
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My t often reminds me about "I can't" when I use it during a session. She will simply ask "You can't or you choose not to? There is a difference, sconnie." That has really been the first step for me correcting thought patterns. It's taken me over 6 moths to "get" what she was trying to teach me in just that one phrase. Now I find I can ask myself that question when I am making a choice in RL.
It takes time and a lot of work to learn to recognize and then change how we think.
