Its a matter of catching myself and reminding myself that I am no longer who I use to be and I have options now which may include not partaking in chit chat and not feeling a failure for that because basically chit chat can be shallow and others who make chit chat maybe feeling just as I once did, ie feel so awkward that they feel they "should" say something. Now I don't have to say anything if I don't want too. I don't say this is a straight line event, it takes work and sometimes I revert back felt disappointed. Its like flexing a muscle, a social muscle.

Sometimes I surprise myself and find myself having a conversation without any effort.

I still prefer my own company much of the time, but I within that have a much better relationship with myself, that to me is and has been a much more desired outcome. I am like a bone china plate that was once dropped and now am back together albeit with a thin fracture line that for me will always be there. I can't say consciously using therapy has been the answer, more how therapy has helped me change internally that brings about change in how I am socially now.