The realization that I am attached or that this transference is real feels as overwhelming to me as anything else.

At our last session my dr. was dressed all casual (t shirt, jeans, very un-doctorly) and all I could think was how he seemed like a dad- it reminded me of my dad and our casual days together. I pictured us (my dr and I) doing boring father daughter things that I have missed over the years- cleaning out a garage together and then going out to lunch or something silly like that. And then the reality hit me that I am paying this total stranger to listen to me because my own father wants nothing to do with me. I know this is transference 101, right? But it hurts as much as any of the painful memories I have lurking in my brain.