Thank you Lee, sorry I didn't see your response until now. The mods had my stuff in a holding queue because I am a new member, and then I forgot about posting this

I can't talk to a therapist because I can't afford it, and I have talked to a therapist about other problems in my past (just not about my adhd). I really don't want to bring all that stuff up again, it can be exhausting. Plus I found talking to one only makes me want to disappear into my addictions even more.

You mention "before you make a decision, STOP --and think for a while". I'm going to sound completely dumb here, but even if I do that, I'm certain that I will offend someone, or end up doing something that will make ppl wonder what the heck I was thinking. Most days I am really withdrawn and quiet because if I open up, I feel I'm sure to foul up.

I really appreciate your thoughts about this, and I'm not going to give up..like u said, its just really frustrating!