2bme, I am honoured. I deeply hope that you are able to cry for your self, one of these days. You are worthwhile, and you are worth feeling for. Thank you for sharing your response with me. Stirs up tears of my own... I'm just so touched.

Open Eyes, thank you for your welcome and your empathy. You bring up something I hadn't thought on, before. It's true that dad was trying to apologize - even if the way he did it was triggering and scary to me. But he seemed to be... confessing. Trying to rid himself of his guilt, perhaps, before he died. The fact that my dad was a preacher, and hadn't ever felt free of all that he did... really speaks to me.

Maybe someday I'll be able to forgive him.
Not today, though.
Not today...

But I am truly thankful for the depth I find in each of you, here. You've all responded to my confession with such acceptance and vulnerability... I'm moved by your courage, all.