I just don't know how to get myself out of this vicious cycle. I'm in a loving relationship for the first time in my life and I"m ruining it every day. I was abused by my dad growing up and have had only toxic and abusive intimate relationships as an adult. Though my current partner is not like this, I still act as if he was. I'm insanely jealous, I don't trust anything, i'm scared all the time. And I just keep eating and eating and ignoring my personal health. I'm getting fatter by the day and that just perpetuates my feelings of being ugly and undeserving. Can someone please help me get my life back?