I have been in therapy several times now in the last 6 years..My first T dx me with DIDNOS/PTSD...did art therapy which revealed some childhood things, but then my insurance co. said I could no longer see him bc he was a LSW and not LCSW...I couldn't afford the sliding fee...went to a psych.to get some meds and she said that I had avoidant personality dis. and gave me meds that totally freaked me out...saw another T who said that I was a co-dependent and that I needed to get over the past...she demanded that I go on meds because I had SI'd after 20 years of not doing that...she said that I was suic...she refused to see me again unless i went on meds...so found another T who said that I had "borderline" tendancies and saw him for almost 10 months...I was also seeing a nurse practioner and was on lamictal.. My T cursed at me, and made me feel horrible...my sessions with him were only 15 to 20 minutes long,(which my insurance co, says was totally wrong) but I did not want to quit... in my last session with him, he told me to leave because I was not talking..he told me to come back when I had something real to say..so I disengaged from therapy with him and the nurse practioner disengaged from me bc I was no longer in treatment..went off the meds, and have waited over a year to try again...but I am so scared to try again..how do I know whom to trust, and when is it right?...I need help but am so very afraid...I know that I have failed in my previous attempts at therapy and take responsibility for that..my head is so messed up, whom do you trust? how do you know? I have been abused my whole life, first by parents, then husband, and then pastor..will I ever know what is healthy for me? how do you know who is safe? I had an initial consultation with a psychologist 2 weeks ago, but am too afraid and confused to go back again...it feels wrong, but not sure why..should I just quit and do this on my own? know there are no real answers out there...having a really sad night tonight...and trying to sort it all out...