thanks, this is a good balanced way to look at it ...... respecting his side of the situation, but not at the cost of devaluing my own feelings about it ...
this is pretty much what T said to me when I talked to her last night ..... she validated me in my feelings about it and agreed that there's stuff on both our sides, although she kind of felt like he had behaved like an ***. she said it's something we need to bring into session with our marriage T, to see what is underlying it for both of us.
on a different note, in regard to the other thing I mentioned in my original post, she said she'd send me a copy of the letter/notes she sent to the mental health board, and that there will likely have to be a hearing I have to go to in order to get formally released. she said she did make it clear in the letter that even though we ended our official therapy that she has been doing a weekly check-in with me, and also that she recommended I have a therapist here. I asked if there would be a problem about getting released from the commitment if I didn't really feel like I wanted to pursue getting another T at this time ...... she didn't there should be a problem really, but that she felt like it was wise for me to continue therapy with someone, since we didn't end because therapy was done, just because I had to move. Dang it, I don't really want another T/to do therapy...I just want to keep checking in with her every week for the next forever!