(((mue))) I, too, wonder if the longing will ever go away. For me, I don't care if it does seem illogical and impossible and immature, etc., I still long for it. Even when I have times of being happy and content, it comes back and I can think of little else. I wonder how this will ever get worked out, or do I just "stop wanting that". I'm feeling like there is no answer to it. "Stop wanting that" was the answer for a long time, because it was the only answer. So now I am more aware of it, and more aware in general of things, and there it is hanging around like a tease.

Sorry to go off on my own story there. What you said, and said so well, is something I can really relate to. I am positive I would have had the same reaction you did about your T touching a person in the group.

I hope there is an answer. Besides awareness, because I agree - it isn't enough.