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Old Mar 20, 2012, 10:03 PM
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sconnie892 sconnie892 is offline
Hesitantly Ready Woman
 
Member Since: Feb 2012
Location: Somewhere out there...
Posts: 2,865
Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
This is a difficult lesson to learn, and Ts have to be very careful how they teach it.

If the patient sincerely believes she can't (and most of us do at first), then telling her she can sounds like nonsense and bullying.
I agree. When I started, I would get very angry at my t reminding me of the difference between "can't" and "choose not to". She was gentle but firm with the question. If t had approached it differently I am not sure I would have learned the lesson.

Now I more often than not find myself saying "I choose not to" instead of "I can't." It has been a very empowering lesson for me to learn.
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Thanks for this!
Abby